Auction Day

Unfortunately for Eddie, he has become unnecessary around the B&M Farm - to the auction he goes!

Every Thursday there is a livestock auction in Cedar City and they allow you to bring your animals up the night before if necessary. Well, it was necessary for me since The Boy has preschool in the morning and getting everything together and in Cedar by 9:00 is just too much of a rush. So I borrowed Dwayner

This is Grandpa Sullivan's truck that is actually in better shape than it should be. Suffice to say, the man has luck with vehicles.

Next I loaded the boys in the front seat with me - don't worry, the airbags were turned off - and we set out to hitch the trailer on.

Isn't she a beauty? Thankfully, as I'm trying to back on Farmer John pulls up.

"Trish, I'm glad I caught you. I see some of the milk bags have dropped."

"Ah, yes. Yes they have."

Bless the man's heart, I was busting up inside. After a few minutes of shooting the breeze John offers to help me hitch up. Thank goodness! I had no idea what I was doing. Not that it takes a rocket scientist, but still...

"All right Trish, we're just going to lift the trailer on to the hitch."

urgh

humph

urgh

"Man alive, that's heavier than you'd think."

This time I'm totally busting up and he tells me to stop giggling and help him out. We successfully hook up and Farmer John is on his way.

Next comes the fun part - loading Eddie. He's feeling a bit jumpity because he's been away from his ladies for too long, if you get my drift. I lead him out of the coral but after a couple quick steps I break into a run. That bastard is fast. Eddie has spotted his girls and is going in the opposite direction I need him in. I somehow lasso a rope around him but instead of around his neck it winds up around his gut... and nut sack. This works well to my advantage because I definitely have his attention and he follows me to the trailer.


I get him in a yell for The Boy to close the gate. Since he's a 3-year old he's off chasing a grasshopper and gets there a little too late. Eddie butts me out and pins The Boy between the trailer and his body. The Boy is screaming, I'm screaming, and Eddie runs off again. Once I get The Boy calmed down I take after the son-of-a-bitchin' goat again. He's still mad but a few rope burns later I've got him back in the trailer. As I run out to close the gate (can't depend on The Boy...) you-know-who is on my tail. I slam the gate on his head and we have a Mexican stand off. With a quick flick on the nose, I win.

We're finally loaded up and heading down the road. My hands are shaking but I think we've got it. Of course we have to stop for a beverage before hitting the road. The Babe is asleep in the truck so I tell The Boy to stay with him while I run in. I take my sweet time because I can, pay for my stuff and head outside. That's when I hear honking, baaing, and wailing. Shit.

The Boy has gotten hold of the key fob and pushed the lock & panic button. The Babe has woke up and Eddie is freaking out because of the honking. Meanwhile, I'm looking the the World's Best Mother screaming at my kid to push the button again.

Once we arrive at the loading pens I search around for someone to tell me what to do. I see some fellas in the shoots with the cows and I head over. I pop up over a fence and see a guy with his arm all the way up a cows butt. Not shocked, (because I have seen this before) I ask him for some help. He dislodges his arm and with shit dripping off it, he points me in the right direction.

I reach the right spot and the man asks me to back up to unload. Minor problem - I don't know how to back up with a trailer. After a few piss poor tries I get out and ask him to do it for me.

Eddie is finally unloaded and put in a pen. While filling out the paperwork, Eddie has jumped out of his pen and sneaks up right behind the guy helping me. There is a brief tussle and the man locks him in a different pen. I give the guy warning that the goat is a crafty S.O.B. and that he'd better watch out. We shake hands and I'm on my way.

The rest of the trip was amazingly uneventful. I called my dad along the way to let him know we were doing ok and rehashed some of the loading details. After a good chuckle, he reassured me he was glad he left me in charge around here. Well duh, of course he would. How else would any of my stupid adventures happen?