On To Greener Pastures...

...well, for a month or so. One of our male goats - Eddie - has gone to another farm to do what he does best, breed. I can honestly say that I'm not going to miss him. Here are a few Eddie stories that will help you understand.

- One day I notice that Eddie is out headbutting the fence in effort to tear it down so he can escape. I went out to scare him away but apparently he doesn't find me intimidating. After pushing, yelling, cussing, and hitting him on the head with a 2x4, I decided that maybe I should just fix the fence. I grab supplies and jump in the field. Eddie stays close to watch what I'm doing. I put my head down and get to work repairing the fence. A few moments later I feel something wet. Strange, it's not cloudy...something stinks...DAMMIT!! Eddie has pee'd on me. Typically this is something he does when he is trying to woo the ladies into heat. After a swift kick in the gut I get back to work. All of the sudden he is rubbing up and down on me. He is super strong and I can't push him off. Realizing what his next move might be, I trim the loose wires and jump the fence. Some women may enjoy being pee'd on in foreplay, but I am not one of them.

- Next Eddie story: I go outside to play with the boys and I can just smell Eddie. Looking in the field, he is nowhere to be found. I catch movement in my peripheral and there he is, eating my garden. I enlist Sammi to help watch the boys while I try to coax Eddie back into the field with me. He is having none of it. He knows my tricks and is particularly feisty this day. He's raring up and swinging his horns at me and I'm kicking, hitting, and of course cussing. Well, he's quick and catches me right in the leg with a horn. In my mind I'm thinking I'm screwed. Luckily it didn't go through my leg but it still hurt like hell. That seemed to be all he needed because he took off running for the open gate. Good thing to. My next move was the pellet gun. We now have a mutual understanding. However, I am still the Alpha around here...

Anyway, that's just a little about our beloved Eddie. Like I said, I won't miss him. It's one less mouth to feed and I won't be raped next time I need to fix the fence.