Bow & arrows - CHECK
Fishing net - CHECK
Grandpa's hat - CHECK
Ferocious stuffed dog - CHECK
Stripped pj's - CHECK
Locked and loaded. The Boy is ready to hunt some wild chickens.
Showing posts with label Laughables. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Laughables. Show all posts
Monday, April 16
Sunday, February 26
Yet Another Addition
I am pleased to introduce to you the newest member of our family & B&M Farm: Yeller
The Boy has been watching Old Yeller a bunch lately and he had convinced himself that he absolutely needed a dog like that. One that could walk beside him, help chase away wolves, and sleep on his bed. His birthday is right around the corner so we had started to look into finding a Golden Retriever puppy for him. There were a lot of them in SLC so we figured we'd pick one up while we were there. Unfortunately for us, every last one of 'em was sold. Then Ryan found an ad for a 6 month old puppy. He went to see the pup and if things checked out, he would bring it back and we'd take him back down to Hurricane with us.
When he pulled up my chin almost hit the floor. That was no puppy - not size wise anyway. The Boy came running out to see what his surprise was and wondering what the hell a dog was doing in our car (my words, not his). When we explained that it was his, he reacted like any kid would - running, squealing, laughing.
We made it home all right and Yeller is growing quite accustomed to the farm life. He likes to go out in the field and eat horse shit. The fresher the better.
He has also learned about chasing cats. He hasn't received a good scratch across the nose yet so he is still quite daring.
The kids love him and he loves them. He has proven to be a great dog so far. He still needs some training but that will come.
Today Yeller found something that he loves about our farm. I mean, really loves. Stubby.
Stubby is our pony that Dad was given about two years ago. Since owning him, Stubbs has gone almost 96% both deaf & blind. He's up there in age and wasn't expected to make it this long. He just moves slowly up and down the field eating hay, stopping to get a drink, and rubbing his butt on posts.
Anyway, back to the dog... This afternoon I was looking to make sure that they dogs hadn't run off. I notice that Yeller is in the field following Stubby. At first I think this is really sweet because poor Stubby probably gets lonely. Then I think, maybe Yeller is trying to herd him. Then it becomes apparent that herding is not what Yeller had in mind. I appears that Yeller is the lonely one and Stubby is too slow/deaf/blind to care.
First Yeller starts off by sniffing Stubby's leg. Then he moves between the legs. After a good sniff and lick, (wow, this is starting to sound dirty) Yeller assumes the position and commences humping poor Stubby's leg.
I tell ya, I'm a little surprised to find out that not only do I have a gay dog, but a gay horse as well.
I go outside and try calling Yeller off but he won't budge. He turns to look at me and then goes right back to business. After a few good laughs I head back inside to give them some privacy.
I gotta hand it to him, Yeller has got stamina. It should be interesting to see what tomorrow brings. I'll try to get a video of it next time.
I had a meeting at the church this evening and when I arrived the Bishop turns serious and says he needs to speak with me. Once we are out of earshot from the rest of the group he starts laughing and asks if I saw what was going on in my field today (we're neighbors). Turning a million shades of red, I laugh and tell him yes. He continues to laugh and wish me good luck on rectifying that situation.
I wonder what kind of offspring a dog & horse would produce. You know, if it wasn't two dudes...
The Boy has been watching Old Yeller a bunch lately and he had convinced himself that he absolutely needed a dog like that. One that could walk beside him, help chase away wolves, and sleep on his bed. His birthday is right around the corner so we had started to look into finding a Golden Retriever puppy for him. There were a lot of them in SLC so we figured we'd pick one up while we were there. Unfortunately for us, every last one of 'em was sold. Then Ryan found an ad for a 6 month old puppy. He went to see the pup and if things checked out, he would bring it back and we'd take him back down to Hurricane with us.
When he pulled up my chin almost hit the floor. That was no puppy - not size wise anyway. The Boy came running out to see what his surprise was and wondering what the hell a dog was doing in our car (my words, not his). When we explained that it was his, he reacted like any kid would - running, squealing, laughing.
We all piled into the Jetta and headed South. I'm not sure my parents have stopped laughing at this sight
2 carseats + 2 adults + 1 dog + 1 small German car = 1 LONG drive
We made it home all right and Yeller is growing quite accustomed to the farm life. He likes to go out in the field and eat horse shit. The fresher the better.
He has also learned about chasing cats. He hasn't received a good scratch across the nose yet so he is still quite daring.
The kids love him and he loves them. He has proven to be a great dog so far. He still needs some training but that will come.
Today Yeller found something that he loves about our farm. I mean, really loves. Stubby.
Stubby is our pony that Dad was given about two years ago. Since owning him, Stubbs has gone almost 96% both deaf & blind. He's up there in age and wasn't expected to make it this long. He just moves slowly up and down the field eating hay, stopping to get a drink, and rubbing his butt on posts.
Anyway, back to the dog... This afternoon I was looking to make sure that they dogs hadn't run off. I notice that Yeller is in the field following Stubby. At first I think this is really sweet because poor Stubby probably gets lonely. Then I think, maybe Yeller is trying to herd him. Then it becomes apparent that herding is not what Yeller had in mind. I appears that Yeller is the lonely one and Stubby is too slow/deaf/blind to care.
First Yeller starts off by sniffing Stubby's leg. Then he moves between the legs. After a good sniff and lick, (wow, this is starting to sound dirty) Yeller assumes the position and commences humping poor Stubby's leg.
I am dumbfounded!
What the hell is going on?!
Why is my dog humping my horse?!
Why is the horse letting my dog hump his leg?!
I tell ya, I'm a little surprised to find out that not only do I have a gay dog, but a gay horse as well.
I go outside and try calling Yeller off but he won't budge. He turns to look at me and then goes right back to business. After a few good laughs I head back inside to give them some privacy.
Four hours later this is still going on.
Sniff - lick - hump - rest - repeat.
I gotta hand it to him, Yeller has got stamina. It should be interesting to see what tomorrow brings. I'll try to get a video of it next time.
I had a meeting at the church this evening and when I arrived the Bishop turns serious and says he needs to speak with me. Once we are out of earshot from the rest of the group he starts laughing and asks if I saw what was going on in my field today (we're neighbors). Turning a million shades of red, I laugh and tell him yes. He continues to laugh and wish me good luck on rectifying that situation.
I wonder what kind of offspring a dog & horse would produce. You know, if it wasn't two dudes...
Thursday, January 19
Stories on The Boy
He may kill me someday but this story was just too good not to share. The Boy woke up one morning with, ahem, stomach problems... It had been an eventful day with running back and forth from the toilet but thankfully there weren't any accidents. Yet.
We had walked out back to feed the goats some snacks and check on things. The Boy was trying to impress me by climbing up and over fences and The Babe was chasing the cats. The baby goats were out so The Boy chased and chased until they were all out of gas and back by their mothers' side. Then, as cool and casual as can be, The Boy saunters up to me:
Oh, the joys of parenthood. Scratch that, they joys of motherhood!
We had walked out back to feed the goats some snacks and check on things. The Boy was trying to impress me by climbing up and over fences and The Babe was chasing the cats. The baby goats were out so The Boy chased and chased until they were all out of gas and back by their mothers' side. Then, as cool and casual as can be, The Boy saunters up to me:
"Mom, I've got some good news and some bad news."
"Alright, what's the good news?"
"The good news is that I pooped in the toilet this morning."
"And what's the bad news?"
"The bad news is that I just pooped my pants. Can we go back to the house now?"
AARGHH!!
Oh, the joys of parenthood. Scratch that, they joys of motherhood!
Sunday, December 11
What's the word....
Ryan's mom & her husband came out for a visit this weekend. We took them back to the farm to meet the herd and impress them with our new found farm skills. Joan asked if we needed to cut the horns off the baby goats and if so, just how do we do it.
With logic and pride oozing out of his pores, Ryan answers,
With logic and pride oozing out of his pores, Ryan answers,
"We solderize them"
cricket, cricket
"You what?"
"Solderize them"
snicker, snicker
"I believe the word you are looking for is 'solder' dear. We don't do any 'solderizing' around here"
This is a solder iron. It's used for welding and burning horns off.
THIS is solderizing. Or sodomising, however you look at it.
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