Alpha

Yeller & Goliath seem to be having a problem deciding on whom the Alpha is around the farm - as seen in this picture.

Since Stubby said farewell *sob* Yeller has been a bit, ah, lonely. Things apparently didn't go well when he tried to familiarize himself with Goliath. They tussle on a daily basis and I'm not sure whether it's for control of the field or humping rights.

Birthday On The Farm

The Boy celebrated his 4th birthday in March and I decided last minute that I should have a little party for him. We invited some friends over and let the madness begin.
Don't let those innocent faces fool you...

I had spent a couple days worrying about how to entertain these hoodlums but my worries were quickly put to rest when the boys found the stairs.

They spent almost a half hour running up and sliding down - how many can go at once? can we knock anyone down on our way? what happens if we go face first?

For fear of the carpet and broken bones, I sent the boys outside to play. GENIUS!

After tackling the dogs and each other, they decided that they should go tackle the goats. Off we headed towards the barn and it was like heaven for these kids. They were running, jumping, feeding, climbing. Then they discovered the hay pile.

I didn't realize how early the male trait of "one-upping" the other guy began. First they had to see who could climb the fastest. Then the highest. And then, almost in unison, who could jump from the highest spot.

I tell ya, these boys may be young but they've got guts. Side note to the mothers who left their son in my care - I assume no liability for what happens here...

The party was starting to wind down and they all thought that it would be really cool to take home an egg. Since I had prepared any take how favors, this worked out really well.

I'm thinking about hosting all sorts of parties here now.

Petting Zoo Party.

Sex Education Party.

Create Your Own Organic Fertilizer Party.

The list goes on...

Mud

One afternoon, The Boy came running in the house like a bat out of hell.

Mom! Come see what I've got!

I take my time going to him because he has a habit of bringing in rocks, sticks, you know - really interesting things. This time, in his is hand is lo-and-behold - a goldfish!

I ask where it came from and with a shrug of his shoulders he says he caught it. Well duh, why didn't I think of that....

See, around the farm we keep goldfish in our water troughs to eat up all the algae and provide a small form of entertainment. On this fine day, The Boy discovered that he could catch them with his bare hands. (I've got a call in to the Discovery Channel to see if they could use a miniature Bear Gryles...)

So out we go to see if he can catch anymore fish. We soon discover that you can't properly fish with your new shoes in the mud so I have him start stripping down. Before you know it he's fishing in nothing buy his skivvies and creating one heck of a mud puddle.

Unable to resist he says,

Mommy, can I please play in the mud?

At this point, what else can I say. With a squeal of delight he jumped right in and started making all sorts of mud pies.

Not to be left out, The Babe was nipping at my heels for a chance to get in. Figuring that it wouldn't be right to leave him out, I stripped off his clothes and turned him loose.

Three important lessons were learned today:

1. The Boy is quick
2. I found a new babysitting method
3. A little mud never hurt no one

Note To Self

When bringing in eggs in the morning, remove them from your pocket before playing with children.

More Space

Due to the cold temperatures and many escape attempts, the goats were all placed in a corral together to live out the winter. My parents came down for the holiday and dad decided that it was time to fix some holes and move the ladies into a bigger corral so that there was more space. Honestly, I think he just likes tinkering around out there...

Here are two of my favorite guys working hard on mending fences.

The herd was moved in and appeared to enjoy the new digs but of course, they had to test the boundaries. Lia and Goliath were out quicker than you can say, "keep your furry butt in there". Lia really is no problem when she gets out. She sometimes seems more like a dog. She'll follow you around, rub up and down your leg, and beg for treats. In fact, if she would stay home like a dog, I'd probably keep her up at the house like one.

Goliath isn't too difficult when he gets out but he needs a little more force to get back in. He is starting to realize that he's the Alpha Male around and I hope he doesn't get as feisty as our beloved Eddie was. Ryan is always happy to put him back where he belongs. Sometimes it's a bit of a rodeo but no such luck this time.

As the guys were doing the repairs, The Boy shouts, "Look mom, I'm a sloth"! I'm so proud...

Unfortunately for my faithful followers, there weren't any exciting incidents that came out of this particular day. However, no matter how well we think we have a fence patched up, we are bound for a jail break any day now. In fact, Lia has already found a hole.

To be continued...

The Perfect Day...

This mother, on a winter's day,

milked the goats and fed them hay.

Fed the cats, saddled the horse,

took The Boy to school, of course!

Did a washing, mopped the floors,

washed the windows, and did some chores;

cooked a dish of home-dried fruit,

pressed my husband's Sunday suit.

Swept the kitchen, made the bed,

baked a dozen loaves of bread.

Split some firewood, and then lugged in

enough to fill the kitchen bin.

Cleaned the lamps and put in oil,

stewed some apples I thought wold spoil.

Churned some butter, baked a cake,

then exclaimed "for heaven's sake,

the goats have got out of the pen!"

Went out and chased them in again.

Gathered the eggs and locked the stable,

back to the house and set the table.

Cooked a supper that was delicious,

and afterward washed up all the dishes.

Fed the dog and laundered the clothes,

mended the new garden hose.

Then opened the piano and began to play

"When you come to the end of a perfect day"

Author unknown

Thank goodness I don't have to chop firewood or change oil lamps but the rest of it seems pretty spot on most days...

The Kids

No, not 'kids' as in young goats, but my actual kids. The Boy and The Babe get towed around in all my scuffles around this place. While reading my previous posts, you may have asked yourself what I do with the boys while I'm taking care of everything.

The Boy gets a kick out of it and is actually a lot of help. He considers himself a real cowboy and wants to be an animal doctor when he grows up - aka, a veterinarian. He always wants a rope to tie the critters up with so that he can apply the proper amount of Band-Aids to make them feel better.

The Babe is usually in his favorite spot - on my left hip and enjoying every step. He is such a sweety and is really patient when I'm out doing some dumb thing with the animals. Occasionally though, I do have to put him down in the hay. He sticks around there most of the time because The Boy is there but I can't lie, he's had his hands on a few pieces of poop while crawling around.

They're sweet boys and sure make their mommy happy. Now, I just need to get them a little bigger and stronger so that they can start doing the milking next spring and cleaning out the corrals...

Auction Day

Unfortunately for Eddie, he has become unnecessary around the B&M Farm - to the auction he goes!

Every Thursday there is a livestock auction in Cedar City and they allow you to bring your animals up the night before if necessary. Well, it was necessary for me since The Boy has preschool in the morning and getting everything together and in Cedar by 9:00 is just too much of a rush. So I borrowed Dwayner

This is Grandpa Sullivan's truck that is actually in better shape than it should be. Suffice to say, the man has luck with vehicles.

Next I loaded the boys in the front seat with me - don't worry, the airbags were turned off - and we set out to hitch the trailer on.

Isn't she a beauty? Thankfully, as I'm trying to back on Farmer John pulls up.

"Trish, I'm glad I caught you. I see some of the milk bags have dropped."

"Ah, yes. Yes they have."

Bless the man's heart, I was busting up inside. After a few minutes of shooting the breeze John offers to help me hitch up. Thank goodness! I had no idea what I was doing. Not that it takes a rocket scientist, but still...

"All right Trish, we're just going to lift the trailer on to the hitch."

urgh

humph

urgh

"Man alive, that's heavier than you'd think."

This time I'm totally busting up and he tells me to stop giggling and help him out. We successfully hook up and Farmer John is on his way.

Next comes the fun part - loading Eddie. He's feeling a bit jumpity because he's been away from his ladies for too long, if you get my drift. I lead him out of the coral but after a couple quick steps I break into a run. That bastard is fast. Eddie has spotted his girls and is going in the opposite direction I need him in. I somehow lasso a rope around him but instead of around his neck it winds up around his gut... and nut sack. This works well to my advantage because I definitely have his attention and he follows me to the trailer.


I get him in a yell for The Boy to close the gate. Since he's a 3-year old he's off chasing a grasshopper and gets there a little too late. Eddie butts me out and pins The Boy between the trailer and his body. The Boy is screaming, I'm screaming, and Eddie runs off again. Once I get The Boy calmed down I take after the son-of-a-bitchin' goat again. He's still mad but a few rope burns later I've got him back in the trailer. As I run out to close the gate (can't depend on The Boy...) you-know-who is on my tail. I slam the gate on his head and we have a Mexican stand off. With a quick flick on the nose, I win.

We're finally loaded up and heading down the road. My hands are shaking but I think we've got it. Of course we have to stop for a beverage before hitting the road. The Babe is asleep in the truck so I tell The Boy to stay with him while I run in. I take my sweet time because I can, pay for my stuff and head outside. That's when I hear honking, baaing, and wailing. Shit.

The Boy has gotten hold of the key fob and pushed the lock & panic button. The Babe has woke up and Eddie is freaking out because of the honking. Meanwhile, I'm looking the the World's Best Mother screaming at my kid to push the button again.

Once we arrive at the loading pens I search around for someone to tell me what to do. I see some fellas in the shoots with the cows and I head over. I pop up over a fence and see a guy with his arm all the way up a cows butt. Not shocked, (because I have seen this before) I ask him for some help. He dislodges his arm and with shit dripping off it, he points me in the right direction.

I reach the right spot and the man asks me to back up to unload. Minor problem - I don't know how to back up with a trailer. After a few piss poor tries I get out and ask him to do it for me.

Eddie is finally unloaded and put in a pen. While filling out the paperwork, Eddie has jumped out of his pen and sneaks up right behind the guy helping me. There is a brief tussle and the man locks him in a different pen. I give the guy warning that the goat is a crafty S.O.B. and that he'd better watch out. We shake hands and I'm on my way.

The rest of the trip was amazingly uneventful. I called my dad along the way to let him know we were doing ok and rehashed some of the loading details. After a good chuckle, he reassured me he was glad he left me in charge around here. Well duh, of course he would. How else would any of my stupid adventures happen?

Our Cowboy's Prayer

It was The Boy's turn to say the prayer at dinner the other night, here's how it went:

Heavenly Father, thank you for our food. Please bless mommy to haul the hay, that darn mountain lion*, and the food to be yummy. Amen.

Makes you wonder what goes on in his head all day.

*The mountain lion is a toy he got that day. He wanted something else but it cost too much so he ended up with the lion. He wasn't happy about it but played with it all day like it was the best toy ever.

Hauling Hay & Kicking Ass

The feed in the pasture is getting low and winter is around the corner. Apparently that means it's time to start putting away hay. Dad called around and found the best place for me to go pick up a load. Not having a trailer to load it on or a truck that could pull it, I enlisted the help of my dear Grandpa Sullivan a.k.a. Mad Dog. More on him another time, he's a character and could have a website just about him.

50 bales of hay and $350 later, we head for home. While pulling into the field he guns it through the gate and tears my fencing off the post. Once he realizes what he's done, he shrugs and keeps on going. It's time to pick up The Boy from school so I tell him just to park it and I'll take care of it later. "You sure as hell will, I'm not going to do it for you". Thanks grandpa...

After picking The Boy up I came home to find three of the goats out for a walk. I get them herded back in the field and call it good for the day.

The next morning I go out to do my morning chores with The Boy in tow and The Babe in my arms and I hear a weird bellering noise. I go to where I have the hay stored and I find a nanny stuck between the trailer and the fence. By the looks of things, she's been there for awhile. She is pregnant, pissed, and I can't get her to budge. I find a safe spot to put The Babe down and start cutting the fence.

All of the sudden I hear screaming, growling, squawking, and crying. Cujo has found a loose chicken and is shaking the life out of it. I jump the fence, tell The Boy to stop screaming and run after the dog/chicken mess. To catch them I have to climb into the pen that holds Eddie, our male goat. We've had run-ins before - he gets randy and I get pissed. Anyway, while pulling the chicken out of Cujo's death-grip, Eddie starts to head for the open gate. I get there before he does but during all the commotion, the stuck goat becomes unstuck and another goat has made a break for it thru the cut fence.

I kick the dog then grab The Babe and tell The Boy to hurry up so that we can catch her before she gets to far. Well, let's just say, she's fast. I dump the kids off in the house and tell them not to move until I get back. I chase the stupid nanny up and down the driveway twice before I get her back in the pasture. I need to get the hay trailer unloaded so that I can restore order around this place.

I ask Sammi if she can watch The Babe and I get to work. I bring The Boy because I figure it might be useful to have someone that can run for help if I pass out or have a run-in with Eddie again...

I grab the first bale of hay - holy smokes, these things are heavy.
Second bale - maybe I should just wait for Ryan to get home.
Third bale - this is crazy.
Forth bale - I need to hire a farmhand. A really hot one...
Fifth bale - Yeah! I'm a tenth of the way done!

Forty bales later, my hands, arms, butt, legs, toes are quivering and not in a good way. I fix the fence and give the goats a little trash talking,

"If any of you fat pigs are stupid enough to get stuck, I'll leave you there as a lesson to the others."

The next day Ryan heads out to unload the remaining 10 bales of hay for me. When he comes back up to the house he asks me in all seriousness, "Did you really unload all that hay yourself or did you have someone come over?" After convincing him that I really did do it - all by myself - he gives me a cute half-grin and tells me he's impressed.