New Kids on the Farm

While making dinner one night, Ryan came home from work and wanted to take the boys out to the barn to get a couple pictures of the turkey to show his friends. I said that would be fine since it would give me a little time (aka, peace) to finish dinner. Not long after they left I got a phone call from Ryan:

Ryan: Hey you got a delivery out here.
Me: Delivery? Like what - hay?
Ryan: No, a baby goat! But it's stuck so you might want to grab som gloves and come down.

Quick as a flash I turned off the stove, threw on my boots, and took off for the corral. Sure enough, there was Flopsy with a kid trying to make it's way out. I jumped the fence and went to check the situation. I was immediately worried because the head was flopping around and was really cold. With no other choices I hunkered down and started to deliver. After much grunting, kicking, and screaming  -on my end- little Leonidas slid into the world. I quickly swabbed his nose and mouth and prayed that he was still alive. Suddenly he started kicking and breathing and calling for his mama - I'm sure it was only a few seconds, but it felt like forever...

Now, I use the term 'little' Leonidas lightly. He was the biggest kid I've ever seen born

When I asked Ryan how he knew Flopsy was in labor, he said he didn't. The Boy had said,

"Dad - why is there a head coming out of Flopsy's bum?"

There you have it folks: Sex Ed 2.0

Worried for the new mama and baby because of the cold, we took the new family into the tack room for the night.

After dinner we decided to head back down to check on things only to find Lia, the other expectant mama, acting strange. We decided to be safe and put her in the tack room as well.

We put the boys to bed for the night and thought we'd call it a night ourselves. But of course, I couldn't do that. On my next visit to the barn I found that Lia had delivered Jacob.

Jacob was blessed (cursed) with his mama's La Mancha ears which are teeny-tiny stupid looking things. However, babies are so cute when their born that you don't really care much for their defects.

After praising Lia I snuck out only to return 30 minutes later with Ryan to find yet another baby from Lia.

This is Ecker and he is adorable.

The next morning the boys were excited to find out that we had more babies. The Boy quickly claimed Ecker for his own. The Babe picked Jacob and Ryan chose Leonidas.

Now let's fast forward about a week. The boys and I had gone to SLC to visit my parents before Christmas. Ryan called that night and asked how many babies were at the farm when I left. Fearing the worst I replied that there were three.

"Well, you're the proud mama of four now! Sweetie had a little girl today!"

Welcome our only baby girl - Sweet Pea

She has got to be one of the daintiest, cutest babies we've ever had here on B&M Farm. She was only about the size of a small puppy. I was nervous that she wouldn't make being as small as she was and that she had a first time mama (who we didn't even know was pregnant...). But the farm gods have blessed us with no dead babies this time around - for which I am very grateful.

Stuck

Upon waking one morning I heard an awful bellering coming from the field. I look out the window to find this:

Apparently the old saying is true, the grass - or weeds in this case - are greener on the other side of the fence.

I grabbed my cutters and pulled on some pants. I mention that because I have been caught running around after my animals with nothing more than a nightshirt on. Sorry mom, you really did raise me better...

It would seem that this would be an easy task since I just have to snip the fence a bit but his little harem is crying out to him and I can't get the damn dog to stay out of my face every time I bend over.

I eventually sat on Yeller to accomplish my task. Goliath was free again and his ladies couldn't be happier.

Wouldn't you know it, the next morning I hear the same bellering. And there again, with his head stuck in the fence, is Goliath.

It would seem that he's a little dense. Heaven forbid he eat the grass from the entire two-acres of open pasture. Why not squeeze you head through a little 4x4 opening to get that one dandelion? I guess my threats of chopping off his horns need to become a little more serious. Or maybe I should let Yeller have a few moments with him.

And guess what, I found him stuck in the fence again this morning.

Off The Tit

Yes, you read that heading correctly. It is time to wean the babies from their mama's - aka, remove the tit.

The Boy and I headed out one morning on a mission - catch the five babies that were still with their mamas and separate them into the adjacent corral. Theoretically this sounds like an easy process but there are a few things working against us:

1. Rounding up goats with two little boys is no easy task
2. Those suckers are fast
3. Those mamas get mad!

I discussed the game plan with The Boy -

You go in, catch 'em, and I'll throw them over the gate. Make sure to watch out for their mama, she'll try to get you.

The Boy gave me his signature Thumbs Up and got to work.

Honestly, I was stunned. I didn't realize how quick The Boy was or understand his knack for catching goats. By the time I had one thrown over the fence, he'd be tugging another one over.

I was able to capture a little video of The Boy in progress but Blogger kept getting blogged down. Bummer. Next time.

Once the babies were separated we dusted off our pants and headed in the house. When I came back out to feed those damn babies were back in with their mamas! The Boy didn't care. In fact, he was happy. That just meant that he'd get to "round 'em up" again the next day. And he did.

From Ass to Grass

Dad called me up the other day and told me that I ought to think about changing our male goats minds from ass to grass - meaning castration. I hadn't thought too much about de-balling our billy goats since we had just planned on selling them off instead of keeping them around. But dad did have a point. The less time the spend sniffing the ladies the more time the could spend eating.

more eating = bigger goats = more $$$

So I called my go-to man, Farmer John. When I gave him the "ass to grass" line I think the poor guy about choked. Sometimes I forget my language, maybe you've noticed. (Sorry Mom...)

John told me that he'd swing by sometime this week and get 'er done. That day ended up being today just as I was getting dinner on the table. I kissed the boys and wished Ryan good luck and I went running down the lane to partake in the festivities.

Thankfully John had brought along his grandson Stetson to help us out because those babies can be really fast when they don't want to be caught.

This handy tool seen here is band castrator. You put a tiny little rubber band on it and squeeze the handles and it pulls the band wide open. Slip in the little nut sack and let loose.

Obviously, I do not have a nut sack to worry about but while watching the first "operation" I about fell backwards. I started doing that really nervous giggle and seeing funny floating stars. I asked John how he could do that to the poor little fellas. He gave me a grin and said something but I can't remember what it was because I had a loud noise in my ear that was like a banging drum and I was still a little dizzy. Meanwhile, Stetson is off to the side laughing at me in my total horror.

After 5 of the 6 males were taken care of I decided that maybe I'd like a try. I grabbed Peter giggle, giggle, giggle and proceeded to take care of business. I felt a little awkward grabbing "them" but John told me to make sure that they were both there or else we'd have to try again.

Well, I couldn't hold legs, grab, and work the tool at the same time so John stepped in to the rescue.

After all the boys were banded, they all got a shot in leg to make sure that they didn't get any infections when their balls hit the ground - literally.

It was the funniest dang thing to see all the little billy's flopping around when things were done. They would try to walk but looked like cowboys that had spent a little too much time in the saddle. Laying down must not have been much of a relief either because they'd just flip over to their backs and moan. Poor little Itchy here just flopped down and bleated.

Extra Baggage

Within seconds of pulling in my garage from grocery shopping the other day, Uncle Weldon pulled up and asked if I was interested in milking his goat. After a brief pause on my side, I asked for further clarification because I had no clue what he was talking about.

As it turns out, one of his mama goats kidded this past weekend. She had a stillborn and the second died the following day. She was totally engorged and he wasn't up to milking her - apparently that's where I come in.

I thought: what the hell, not like I haven't done it before.

I let Weldon know that I would take her for awhile to see how things go. He started to hmmm and haa around while kicking the dirt and then he brought up the fact that he didn't have a truck to haul her in. Aah. Again, this is where I come in.

I take the boys over to my neighbors, load up Weldon, and head out.

When we pull around to his barn he informs me that he has gout and didn't know whether or not he'd be able to catch her OR put her in the truck. Yes again, in I step to take care of business. At this point I'm kind of thinking that he had this planned out the whole time...

Once I get the old gal lifted into the truck, I jump in with her and off we head back to the B&M Farm.

I didn't ask Uncle Weldon what her name is so I've just been calling her Mama - which seems a little cruel since she in fact is not a mama cause her kids died. Hmmm, maybe I should think of something else. Maybe she doesn't care. Maybe I shouldn't care...

Anyway, to the farm she came and was put in a corral with her sister - Lia. Everyone seems to get along fine and there haven't been any escape attempts thus far.

That evening I headed out to do my chores and brought the milking bucket. As mention before, she was totally engorged and I was nervous about touching her in fear of an explosion.

Now seems like an appropriate time to bring up the importance of teat size when it comes to milking a goat. You want a big bag and a nice full teat - one that fills up your hand. This way you can get a good grip and really fill a bucket. Too small and it's too much work.

And too small is just what Mama has. I ended up milking her with my index finger and thumb - picture Ben Stiller mimicking milking his cat - that's what I had to do.

I wasn't able to empty her due to the slow flow, dogs chasing the chickens around my feet, and my boys screaming to go back to the house.

No, we did not use the milk. Didn't get enough to do much with but the dogs were happy.

So the plan is to let Mama dry out and stick her back in the pen with Goliath to get bred for her next batch (they can have babies every 5 months!). Then I'll drag her back in the truck and return her to her rightful owner. Secretly I'm hoping that Uncle Weldon decides he doesn't want her anymore and lets me have her...

Goat Tracking Sheet

for those of you who are interested...

New Toy

A common thing with goats is that they like to climb. Out in our field we have a couple of old wire spools that they like to jump on and off of. I decided that they could use a little fun and excitement in the corrals so I put up a ramp for them.

I don't know who has more fun on it though -

The Boy?

Or Goliath?

Goliath likes to stand on top and look down upon his harem. I think the kids probably get the most fun out of it at the end of the day though. They like to plan King of the Mountain or run to the top and slide down.

Out & About with Farmer John

Many of you have heard me talk (type) about my buddy, Farmer John. Well, here is a picture of the man himself

Isn't he a handsome devil?

One afternoon I got a call from John asking me if I would like to attend the Sheep & Goat Education Day with him and if that would be ok with Ryan seeing as I'm a married woman and such. I jumped on that quicker than you can say "What the hell is a Sheep & Goat Education Day?"

See the thing is, I had brought a copy of this flier by John's place to see if he would go with me but since he was out of town I just left on the door. My plan worked perfectly because he called to ask me, picked me up in Colettes' Mercedes, and had breakfast ready - Pepsi & an apple. I was so dang excited to be going with him that I about licked myself from head-to-toe.

The S&GED was quite the event and it's safe to say I stuck out like a sore thumb. I'm thankful that John was with me because it was clear when I walked in the room that one of these (me) was not like the others. These folks were tried and true ranchers. Then there was me with my blonde curls and a silly grin on my face. But they were really great people and were interested in my little farm. I was also able to hold my own during the questions about herd size, breed, eating habits, kidding, etc.

I learned all sorts of things at the S&GED that I didn't even know I had to worry about - disease, potential wolf situations, Scrapie, tagging, breeding, etc... I leaned over to John about every 5 minutes for clarification on things and he patiently brought me up to snuff.

Lunch consisted of lamb shanks and goat tacos. I know... Goat. Tacos.

I was totally freaked out but interested at the same time. People always ask me if we eat our goats and the answer is no. Not really my thing. However, the tacos they served were top of the line. The goat meat was super moist and flavorful without being gamey.

The last breakout session we attended was the Goat Health class with a couple of Veterinarians. This was a great chance to pick their brains and get questions answered regarding my herd. I asked about Martha's fishtail teet and they offered some good suggestions. FYI - her teet is doing great now :) Someone started talking about castrating their young billy's and I raised my hand to ask if it hurt too much to do it when they were first born or to wait a couple days. Stupid, stupid, question...

As I was the only female in the room, every head turned my way. They vet - also a male - says:

"Well Trish, I've never been castrated so I really can't tell you"

I didn't know whether to laugh out loud or crawl under my chair and die. I bit my lip until it bled and nodded my head as if I understood. Obviously I don't always think before I speak.

Big thanks to John for letting me tag along with him to the S&GED. I had a such a good time!

5 Births, 3 Deaths...

While going out to do my morning chores, I noticed that Alpine was acting funny and I knew that she was going into labor. Since she's one of the older gals I thought she'd just pop them right out so the boys and I stuck around to watch the excitement. After about an hour of watching her scratch the ground, grunt, and fart, we headed back to the house for nap time.

Once The Babe was asleep I snuck back down to the corrals and found Alpine with 2 babies out! Totally excited but bummed at the same time. Baby #1 didn't make it and was dead on arrival. I buried her in the little goat cemetery. Not my favorite thing to do...

When I went back to check on the mama & baby she had already squeezed out another baby! I'm please to introduce to you:

Peter

Wendy

These two are cuter than I had expected because their mama is probably the ugliest goat I have. Alpine has been a good mama to them thus far and is very protective of them.

The next morning when I went out for chores then 800 was missing. Being the last one pregnant I had an idea of what she was up to. Behind one of the panels she was doing the same as Alpine did the day before: scratches, grunting, farting. I threw some extra hay over for her and took off.

When I came back out an hour or so later she had birthed two babies! Basil & Olivia were cuddled up together and were the fattest babies we've had thus far.

Basil

Are you wondering where the picture of Olivia is? Well, she didn't make it. She did really great the first day - up walking and nursing just fine. That night Hurricane got it's freak snow storm and poor Olivia just got too cold. When I went to do chores I noticed that something was a muck. She wouldn't stand up and just bellered on-and-on. I brought her a bottle and tried to get her to eat but she was too far gone. She died in my arms.

To top the day off, that morning my brother Austin informed me that my goat herd was down from 23 to 22. Poor little Itchy also got too cold in the snow and was dead.

The ground was too frozen to bury these two so they will become coyote food. I feel awful about it but I guess they need to eat too.

More & More Babies

It seems we have babies coming out the wazoo this week - literally... Lia and Flopsy both gave birth this week!

First up, born on Monday, February 6th came Minnie & Daisy

The only way to tell them apart is that Minnie has a little more white fur on the top of her head. Their birth came as a huge surprise to me. I knew that Lia was preggo but didn't think she'd kid until next month or so.

The boys and I like to walk out back after our lunch to check things out (ok, let's just be honest here. Sometimes mommy needs to get out of the house). As we get to the corrals I say my typical 'hellos' but Lia isn't going nuts like she usually does. A movement by the water barrel catches my eyes I yell:

"Holy shit! Who does that belong to?!"

Lia turns to the side - you know, since she can't actually speak - and I see #2 hanging out of her rear. Some part of me realizes that this isn't ok and I hop the fence. Not knowing what else to do I grab the baby and pull it on out. Slimy, warm, smelly, and freakin' AWESOME.

Lia looks at me as if to say, "What just happened here?" and I stand there looking like an idiot because I'm shocked at the whole situation. It was cold and windy so I decided to take the family out of the corral and lock them up in the hay loft. Lia was happier than a fat kid with a piece of candy in his pocket and I was happy knowing that the babies would be warm.

Since Lia's kids came earlier than expected I decided that I'd better keep an eye on Flopsy just in case she pulls the same trick. This has resulted in walks down the lane multiple times a day. My neighbors must think I'm nuts. Most of them probably do already.

Today we head out for our afternoon check and again everyone is there to greet me except Flopsy. I hear a little beller and realize that there is a new baby! There laying in a puddle of birth was Charlie

I was so excited to see him because he's a pretty good size and has great coloring. I was also super excited to be there so soon after birth. Flopsy was still kicking around on the ground so I knew #2 was on the way. The Boy and I sat transfixed on her hinny from behind the fence. The poor girl was having a hard time and I was becoming concerned because a foot kept playing peek-a-boo but nothing more was happening.

Side note: these were the first births for Lia & Flopsy. They are barely a year old and still quite small. Something common for first-timers is Hip Lock - where the hips essentially lock in to place and the kids can't get out.

Anyway, it was apparent that she was going to need help with #2 so again, I hopped the fence just as the head came out. I shit you not, the baby was bellering while it was hanging out of her butt. She was freaking out because it was crying and she couldn't find it. So even though she was pissed that I was in there, she got over it when I gave a tug and little Itchy came flopping out.

Two healthy baby boys, Charlie & Itchy, were born to Flopsy on Thursday, February 9th. Not bad for her first time!

This is a picture of The Boy with our barn cat, Tess.

Now a cat like Tess is a real prize to have on our farm. I never see mice, she's friendly, and she takes care of the afterbirth from the goats so I don't have to take care of it.

Ok, that was gross, sorry. To end on a better note, here's a cute picture of The Babe. Boogers, drool, and a big ol' dog eating shit grin. I love that boy!

One more side note: to those who care. Lia is a Nubian/Le Mancha cross and was bred to Goliath, whom is a Boer. Flopsy is a full Nubian also bred to Goliath.

New Additions!

I would like to introduce the new members of the B&M Farm - Miss Bianca & Bernard

These two bundles of cuteness were born this past Tuesday to my favorite goat, Martha.

Having noticed that her milk bag was getting awfully large and she was laying around more than normal, I new the moment was at hand. The boys and I have been walking out to the farm every afternoon to check things out.

This particular trip out I came around the corner and notice Martha laying down, away from the others. This is odd since she is usually the first to greet me. I got a better look at things and noticed a baby next to her! I was so excited and jumped in the pen (of course, I left my kids to fend for themselves). As I started to approach her I realized that something was wrong. The baby was too small and not moving. My heart broke. in. two.

There sat Martha looking over her baby that hadn't survived. I understand that she is a goat and I am a human but I am also a mother. I have never had a miscarriage or still born myself but I ached for her. She would nuzzle the baby and give a little grunt to try to get it to move. Then she would look me in the eye. Honestly, that happened. Not knowing what else to do, I took the baby away and buried it.

When I returned The Boy, The Babe, and I sat outside the fence, watched and waited. The Boy asked me:

"Mommy, is the babies going to come out of her stomach now?"

long exhale

"No son, not quite. Watch her bum"

At that moment, Miss Bianca made her appearance. I wish I would have had my camera because the look of The Boys face was priceless! Hey- if he's going to live around animals, he's going to learn the facts of life one way or another...

I hurried and called my dad to give him to good news. As we were going over the stats, out pops Bernard. They were born within two minutes of each other. It was the coolest thing to watch.

I hung out for awhile to make sure that these two didn't have any problems like #1 did. When all seemed safe I loaded up the boys and went back up the house.

About an hour or two later I went out to do my evening chores and to check on the babies. Neither one had gotten up on their legs yet but dad thought this was because the were probably weak from having 3 of them in the womb. Sounded good to me. Since they weren't up I became concerned about them nursing. I held each of them up while they had their first meals. Kind of awkward, no doubt, but I was able to rest easy knowing that they had full tummies. It was during these nursings that Martha's typical demeanor came back and she not only bit my head, but The Boy's as well. Glad she was able to rebound so quickly.

Anyway, here we are a few days later and everyone is doing great. I'm a little concerned about Martha's teats though. She has one that is the ideal shape & size but the other side has problems - it's a double (fishtail teat) and the babies aren't able to nurse on that side. It's swollen and starting to turn red. I'm worried that it might be infected or that she may get mastitis. I'm attending a goat education day tomorrow so I'll have to raise the question there. Don't worry, I'll keep you posted on not only her milk bag but the other soon-to-be mommies as well. 

Coming Soon!

It appears that we have not one, not two, but THREE new milk bags out on the farm. Babies and more excitement to come!

Jailbreak

It was bound to happen and this afternoon it did. Jailbreak. All the goats on the run. After a few cuss words under my breath, I took The Babe over to the neighbor and grabbed The Boy on the way out.

Not sure how they got out but I have my suspicions. We were able to quickly and easily corral them back into the smaller pen. Sometimes you don't know how good you've got it until it's taken away.

Goat Down...

Christmas morning brought all sorts of wonderful things to our home - hopefully yours as well.

Unfortunately, this was not the case back at the corral. When I went out to do my morning chores, I took a glance in the water trough to see if I needed to fill it up. There was something floating in it and at first I thought it must be a cat or chicken. After looking at the herd I realized that it was one of the babies. Somehow it had climbed in between the evening feeding and when I got there. The water was just low enough that the poor thing didn't drown, rather froze.

I had a picture of this unfortunate encounter but didn't have the heart to post it.

Since my family always kept animals while I was growing up, I quickly learned not to get too attached to the livestock because it will probably end up being your meal next winter. Having said that, I am really sad that the poor thing met an early death. I'm also sad that I just lost $$$

Delayed...

My deepest apologies to my faithful readers. It has been awhile since I've posted and there's been a few good stories that need to be shared. Fact of the matter is, I'm not what you would consider the best blogger. Sometimes I get distracted.

Anyway, let's bring you up to snuff on the goings around here...

Our loverly mama goat #802 gave birth to two healthy and happy males a few weeks past. She doesn't have a name because there are three of them that look really similar and it's quicker to just look at their ear tags then remember a name. They babies have been named Koda & Keenai (from the movie Brother Bear).

The four babies are really fun to watch. They like to run, jump, and head-butt each other. This week they have learned to mount each other which is interesting considering that there's only one female. Can goats be gay?

Now that Fall is here the pasture is no longer green. I go out and feed everyone morning and night so they really don't need to 'graze' all day long. I had decided not to corral them for the winter yet because I thought that they would enjoy the room to roam. Well, they did. A little too much. So much in fact that they broke the circle of trust and started jumping fences.

Monday morning I glanced out the window to notice that 3 of the ladies were out on a walk. Both of the boys were taking naps so I alerted Sammi, grabbed my flipflops and headed out the door. It took me two seconds to find out where they had escaped - a weak spot that I didn't realize they were privy to. I decide that instead of putting them back in the field that they would need to go to the corrals so that I can fix the fence before they jump out again. Of course it would be Martha, 800, and 801. Down the lane we go and I am amazed at how easily they are cooperating. This should have been a sign.

They start running and head for the corrals but at the last second, juke me out and go for the hay. Now, this is close quarters and I need to get by them so that I can open the gate. This causes major panic and number 800 climbs to the top of the haystack and jumps off the other side - easily 8 feet. Oh, did I mention she's still pregnant?

At least she landed safely but the other two are still on the run. Martha could compete in the Livestock Olympics in sprinting. She's fast. I mean, really fast. She's down the lane before I can blink but 801 is sticking around and trying to figure out how to get back to the herd. She is also pregnant but stubborn and stupid. We played ring-a-round-the-rosies a couple times and between cuss words and yelling I managed to find a rope to try to lasso her with. Just try and picture that if you can. It didn't work out too well. This particular incident caused me a few scratches and a bruise on my shin. I finally have her pinned in a corner and she slips under the barbed wire, beneath a metal pole, and into the field behind ours. I figure, 'Screw it, she'll come back when she's thirsty'.

Back on to Martha. Martha and I have had a few escapades together. If someone is out, 4 out of 5 times it's her. She fast, sprite, and limber. She has made her way back down the lane and is munching in the garden. When she sees me coming she high-tails it back to where she escaped from. Turns out, getting in was harder than getting out. After some smooth maneuvering on my part, I get her back in. Halle-freakin'lujah.

As I walk in the house, I notice that 801 has gotten into the neighbors field to the east. This is no problem because our fields connect and she's spent time there before. However, I have fenced off the opening so that they couldn't go that way for the rest of the winter - too many escape routes...

About 30 minutes later I look out at the herd and they are all gone. Only Two-Short and her babies are in the field. Shit.

The herd has broken down the fence that connects us to the neighbors and have bailed into the field behind ours. Double shit.

During my rant of profanities, I calm down enough to figure out that something has to be done. I call Ryan and in my sweetest, most convincing voice, ask him to please drop everything and come home to help me. After a chuckle or two, he agreed to switch around some appointments and come help me round up the herd. While explaining the situation to his client, she asks if he's kidding about having to reschedule so that he can go home and corral his goats. No kidding sweetheart, this is our life.

Ryan, mommy, The Boy, and The Babe in tow, we head out to the corrals and start moving panels. Ryan seems to be a Goat Whisperer of sorts and easily get the gals in the pen. We get to work making the corral large enough to house everyone comfortably. Again, I have to give props to Ryan on this one. He had put up a lot of fencing in the past few months and had done a real swell job at it. It's not perfect but the ladies are contained and have no way out - well, until they start climbing or some other confounded thing...

The only thing I feel bad about with this situation is that these three - Lia, Flopsy, and Goliath - get picked on by the older goats. They spend most of their time huddled up together in a corner. Lia & Flopsy will have to get tough and Goliath is the male of the herd and I'm sure he'll make himself known soon enough.

On a good note to end this craziness, Martha has become quite friendly with me. Whenever I go out there she comes right up to me and nuzzles my hand so that I'll scratch behind her ears. It's actually pretty sweet...